(no subject)

some movies/shows i have been watching lately

twin peaks season 1 & 2
blue velvet
wild at heart
frisky dingo season 1

some books i have read lately

a million little pieces, james frey
jailbird, kurt vonnegut

some albums i have been listening to lately

walking on a dream, empire of the sun
i'm wide awake it's morning, bright eyes
selected ambient works, aphex twin
riceboy sleep, jónsi and alex

some clothes i have been wearing lately
shirts with weird shit on them

sorry guys, i guess i'm a consumer.

(no subject)

I found a diary I kept when I was 12 (during the year of 1999). I went on a holiday to Canberra with my step-father (Brooke), mother and younger brother. My step-father's daughter was getting married. We hired a car and drove to Melbourne and Sydney as well. I painstakingly recorded every single detail of the trip.

My personal highlight is when I gave "You've Got Mail" a 7 out of 10. LMFAO!

I understand if no-one else finds this interesting, but you know me. I love making these sentimental posts. :)

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(no subject)

i received some bad news last night.

i have a friend called claire who i've known since we were babies, my mum was good friends with her mum, my dad was good friends with her dad: they are like family to me. claire's father, dave, lived at our house for a few years while i was a teenager, and after i moved out. he's been an alcoholic for as long as i can remember and he hasn't always been there for claire. i didn't always get along with him, but i love him and think of him as the dodgy uncle i never had. :) he's a fucking legend, honestly. he's a trained and skilled artist so we have art in common and he has been a huge inspiration to me over the years. we had a lot of fun together when we lived together.

he's been sick for a long time. he had hepatitis and he's recently (only within the last two weeks) been diagnosed with liver cancer which has spread through him very quickly. he has been admitted to hospital and he won't be coming out. he will be in palliative care until he dies there. they are saying it could be weeks, or months, but no longer, so i guess you could say he is dying.

claire rang me last night and told me about it and it really upset me. i am actually somewhat surprised by how upset i got. i've never had to deal with death before so i don't have any other experiences to gage it against. well, my grandfather died about 7 years ago, but he wasn't a huge part of my life and he lived on the other side of the country, so it wasn't something that really hurt me. i just would've liked to have known him better, is all.

i cried for about an hour after i heard about it. i didn't want to cry whilst on the phone to claire, but it was a struggle not to. i couldn't stop thinking about dave, about the unhappiness that surrounded his life, about the lost opportunities with his children, about the way he would look lying in a hospital bed, about how claire would find dealing with the death of her father, about what i could do to support claire and how there was really no way that i could actually protect her. i don't know how to help someone when their father dies, you know. i don't have any resources. i just want to fix it all and i can't. it's hard to accept that.

oh man, it still makes me really upset to think about it.

anyway, this morning i rang another friend of mine, robina. she used to spend a lot of time at my house when dave lived with us and the three of us used to sit in the lounge room together watching b-grade horror movies and drinking vodka. haha. so she knows him quite well and has known him as a friend, as i have. we are going to go and visit dave together and that makes me feel a bit better. i'm glad i'll have robina with me too.

i want to visit him at least once a week. i really want to be there for him. i really want to be his friend. and i hope that it will also take some pressure off claire and help her to feel supported. i want to be there for her in any way i can.

i hope that seeing him will somehow make me feel less upset each time i think of his situation.

if anyone has any suggestions as to how i can be there for my friend, i would really appreciate the advice. is it inappropriate to give her a book that i have about dealing with death? before he has even died? i just don't know.

i have already told her, in no uncertain terms, that if she ever needs to talk about about it, or get anything from the past off her chest, i am only a phone call away. but the gesture just doesn't seem big enough. i suppose nothing ever will seem big enough.

(no subject)

adobe are pissing me off.

i bought the creative suite student package a few weeks ago and in order to get a serial number, i had to contact adobe and provide proof that i am a student, etc. so i went through the process on their website and supplied them with copies of my student card and stuff. they got back to me pretty quickly and said that they were awaiting verification from some department or another.

which is fine.

but that was 10 days ago and i still haven't heard from them.

fuckin' jerks. i spent $600 on this package and i would like to use it.

has anyone else been through the same process. how long did it take?

(no subject)

n'aww i love michael jackson.
i'm not so sad that he's dead, more happy that he was alive. :)
thanks for the hits, baby. i won't forget ya!