i program robots to make them lie (neptunenobody) wrote,
i program robots to make them lie

Just got off the phone to my dad

Me: “Sorry I’m not very talkative, I don’t really have anything to say. Oh! We got a kitten!”
Dad: “WHAT?”
Me: “We got a kitten.”
Dad: “What, you wanted more work to do, did you?”
Me: “Dad!”
Dad: “Well, if it doesn’t wee everywhere, it’s okay I guess.”
Me: “Dad! What do you have against kittens?”
Dad: (laughing) “Remember the kitten you brought into our house when you were a teenager?”
Me: “That was a puppy.”

When I was about 15 one of my classmates told me that her dog had just had a litter of puppies and she would have to get them put down if no-one wanted them. I was mortified and told her I’d take one. Then I asked my dad about it and he said no.

Instead of telling my friend that I couldn’t take her puppy, I took him (I called him Herb) and I smuggled him into my house and kept him in my room for about 5 days before my dad found out about it and made me give him back. I wagged school every day so I could take him out for walks and bought him food from the butcher shop. I loved him. :(

That was the best stunt I ever pulled when I lived with my dad.

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