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i program robots to make them lie

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(no subject) [Mar. 21st, 2015|04:28 pm]
i program robots to make them lie
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(no subject) [Feb. 16th, 2011|10:14 pm]
i program robots to make them lie


i will give you money money money. actually, i'll give you anything you want, including sex, compliments and food.
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2010|02:59 pm]
i program robots to make them lie
“There is no escape. You can’t be a vagabond and an artist and still be a solid citizen, a wholesome, upstanding man. You want to get drunk, so you have to accept the hangover. You say yes to the sunlight and pure fantasies, so you have to say yes to the filth and the nausea. Everything is within you, gold and mud, happiness and pain, the laughter of childhood and the apprehension of death. Say yes to everything, shirk nothing. Don’t try to lie to yourself. You are not a solid citizen. You are not a Greek. You are not harmonious, or the master of yourself. You are a bird in the storm. Let it storm! Let it drive you! How much have you lied! A thousand times, even in your poems and books, you have played the harmonious man, the wise man, the happy, the enlightened man. In the same way, men attacking in war have played heroes, while their bowels twitched. My God, what a poor ape, what a fencer in the mirror man is — particularly the artist — particularly myself!” – Hermann Hesse.
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Just got off the phone to my dad [Jun. 29th, 2010|05:55 pm]
i program robots to make them lie
Me: “Sorry I’m not very talkative, I don’t really have anything to say. Oh! We got a kitten!”
Dad: “WHAT?”
Me: “We got a kitten.”
Dad: “What, you wanted more work to do, did you?”
Me: “Dad!”
Dad: “Well, if it doesn’t wee everywhere, it’s okay I guess.”
Me: “Dad! What do you have against kittens?”
Dad: (laughing) “Remember the kitten you brought into our house when you were a teenager?”
Me: “That was a puppy.”

When I was about 15 one of my classmates told me that her dog had just had a litter of puppies and she would have to get them put down if no-one wanted them. I was mortified and told her I’d take one. Then I asked my dad about it and he said no.

Instead of telling my friend that I couldn’t take her puppy, I took him (I called him Herb) and I smuggled him into my house and kept him in my room for about 5 days before my dad found out about it and made me give him back. I wagged school every day so I could take him out for walks and bought him food from the butcher shop. I loved him. :(

That was the best stunt I ever pulled when I lived with my dad.
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(no subject) [Apr. 3rd, 2010|11:27 am]
i program robots to make them lie
My dad makes maps. We are both computer geeks. When I come to visit him, we sit in his office together on two different computers, working and chatting.

Dad is working on a map of Katanning. He just started laughing and then looked over at me and said, “there’s a street in Katanning called Wank Street.”

I can’t breathe.
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2010|07:13 pm]
i program robots to make them lie
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(no subject) [Mar. 13th, 2010|12:25 am]
i program robots to make them lie

“Telephone” — Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé.

I do realise that you have probably already seen this video, but I had to post it because I believe it is pretty fucking special… and I have always hated the song tbh. I am going to be quoting these two lines forever:

“You know what they say… once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger.”

“I knew you’d take all my honey, you selfish motherfucker.”
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(no subject) [Mar. 12th, 2010|09:50 am]
i program robots to make them lie
It's Britney, bitch.
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(no subject) [Mar. 5th, 2010|09:12 am]
i program robots to make them lie
“Strictly speaking, you don’t want to have failures, but a lot of people, they never fail. They get some sort of style down pat, and they just redo it their whole career. And they never fail, they always do something that’s competent in their style to their limits. But they never fail! That’s because they’re not really artists. Sure, they might have been an artist on the first one, but every subsequent one is just cashing in.”

- Larry Beckett.

(From an interview here: http://www.furious.com/perfect/larrybeckett.html)
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(no subject) [Feb. 19th, 2010|08:04 pm]
i program robots to make them lie
The Boat That Rocked was a huge disappointment. Way to waste a stellar cast on 50 million one-liners and unrealistic plot lines.
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